I turned 40 this year, and Let me be honest I hate being single at my age!  But, it’s so difficult to get out of that “being alone” rut!  First you have to find someone you actually like, and then when you do, you have to ask them out on a date, and then there’s the awkward part of determining when it’s appropriate to consummate the relationship?  Last time, I waited for 3 dates before having sex with a guy!  That was during speed dating, so I was asked to leave!

I sometimes wish I was straight, because I always see some of the hottest straight guys with the most heinous, bush-pig women!  So, I don’t think there’s a huge vetting process in the heterosexual male shagging standards manual. 

But with gay men, before we’ll even agree to a hand-job we have a set of criteria that needs to be met that’s longer than Schindler’s list!  On the gaydar website, where the discerning gay shops for anonymous sex, you find out a guys age, height, weight, waist size, dick size, whether or not he has foreskin, body hair, tattoos, or piercings!  Is he Caucasian, Black, Hispanic, Asian, Mixed-Race, or “other”!  Other!!!  That’s gotta be a real self-esteem boosting label, when your ethnic origins are placed in a group that also contains space aliens, zombies, and the Welsh!  Then we have the section which describes your sexual role!  Active otherwise known as the fucker, passive or fuckee, and my favorite versatile, from the Latin versitilium which literally means ‘prefers to take it in the ass, just don’t tell anybody’!  

It is weird when you get older on the gay scene, because you still find the same hot looking young guys attractive, but I start to appear to them more and more like the creepy old man who I used to make fun of when I was but a young poof.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m still able to pull when I go out!  But when you hit 40, desperation creeps in, and the results are sometimes hit and miss…lately, mostly miss!  The kind of men who the next morning you wish it was possible to un-fuck them!